For this discussion, we had to act as one of three representatives in one of three groups. I was a native woman who's husband had been killed by the colonists who decided to launch a surprise attack on my village. My children were killed as well, and it was devastating to say the least, at least I'm assuming that's how my character would feel. I channeled this explosive anger into the discussion when colonists said they were victims, and shared my story through yelling and frustrating tones. I felt that this was how best to show my character, as the discussion was heated and I had a right to be furious. We talked about different topics like "the effects of a bunch of poor people being shipped to the new world" and "the treatment of Irish and Native Americans". We were able to address these topics from our character's perspective, which led to everyone's statements clashing, and a lot of yelling and argument. All of it was in good fun between classmates, but the truth of the conversation was that it was extremely chaotic and going absolutely nowhere. I actually had to check with my teacher a few times to see if we were "doing it right" since it felt so wrong to just yell at each other and waste time pointlessly arguing and pointing fingers. It was frustrating to go nowhere and feel trapped with no perspectives understood and voices being heard. It was a traditional "if your voice is the loudest then you can speak" type of situation.
I thought the discussion, as I said before, was extremely chaotic and it gave us a good view of how meetings went back in the day. It was so frustrating to move nowhere in the conversation, but just keep blaming. It honestly just made me feel extreme distress, but I also got distracted from that by playing my character. As the conversation progressed, it was easier to organize my thoughts and use evidence to argue our point, and in the end come up with a reasonable solution. I feel that the Natives -- my group -- best represented and expressed the ideas or points we had because we used textual and statistical evidence, didn't falter from our main argument and claim, were all on the same page, and had ethical, moral, and logical reasoning backing up our claim and opinion. We didn't simply shut down others perspectives, but instead disproved them with accurate information and relevant facts. The most interesting points made were probably when colonists argued they weren't given women when they got to the New World, when in fact the were in the sense that they stole native women and raped, tortured, and hurt them, with no care for their human needs and emotions. I also found it important to hear what each group had to say, as the promoters played the blame game, the colonists played pity party, and the Indians played the angry middle aged "let me talk to the manager" woman. What was most confusing was where the conversation was supposed to go, as I'm used to civil discourse in a classroom environment, not allowed arguing and belittling of others. It was of course all in character, bu nonetheless was all we did for a solid half hour. Some questions I have about this historical period and the events, people, and ideas that were discussed are: - Were the perspectives we shared in the conversation the same as those of the real Natives, Promoters, or colonists? - Was there ever any actual peace or agreement made between the colonists and Natives that benefited both parties? - Did the promoters sell the Native's land, or free land around their villages? - Why didn't other countries seize the opportunity to take this "free" land or the New World? Where were other countries during this period? - What is the general timeline regarding colonist and Native relations and evolution of both cultures and societies during this period of 1450-1700?
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“My love is so strong for him, but his love for me is only beginning to germinate. If I have such discernible love to give, why is his so invisible to the eye?” As I drank another sip of my white, Mary agreed subtly with my statement and joined me in my pity party of sorrow. “Camille, he gives polemics as excuses and sets a precedent for blindness and ignorance being allowed and praised in a relationship, you sound like nothing more than his pawn.” I had to agree with her statement, as he had created precepts for justifying a dangerous -- if not fatal -- relationship. “I feel as though I was a puppet and his cold hands were inside of my stuffed lining, controlling my every move and function.” I had to whisper this part to Mary, as we were surrounded in this pub by women prowling for gossip and men hoping for drunken luck. “Camille, let’s go dance and waste our worries away!” I quietly agreed, shaken by how fast she passed off the conversation as a small conflict. She had delineated my relationship down to the last bit of truth, but as swiftly as she had knocked down walls, she began cruising towards the dance floor. Before she could move her feet, she yelled, “Waiter, please bring me the bottle!” I had to follow, hoping the live music could numb the dead blue of the mood. We were an interdependent duo, and she always knew how to heighten the mood. As I danced I felt the weight of the world leap off of my shoulders and warmth spreading throughout my body. My head became lighter as my feet tapped on the floor. My soon to gleam smile became conspicuous, not just to everyone in the room, but to a familiar stranger. I closed my eyes and gave power to my body, gliding where it must, mollifying my mind and moving slowly, swiftly towards my next adventure. A sorrowful ending must always lead to a beautifully tragic beginning, and he was mine. As soon as you could drop a pin, my body leapt into his and I could feel such exuberance race to me. Just as quickly as the excitement had come, it had left once my body tip-tip-thudded onto the hard dance floor. What a sight of embarrassment! I thought to myself, which is shocking since my thoughts now became a fiery collapsing building. I had lived in a pseudo-reality of love for some time, yet this past relationship brought me to reality, although I had first refused to face the music. I had new hope in this rank and drunken bar, but as history will repeat itself, I’ve left with nothing more than a stained dress and empty glass. As I ran down the dark alleyway, I could hear the small and tired squeaks of vermin passing me, searching for some old apple core or, if they were lucky, an only slightly moldy pizza. What rapacious creatures they are, taking what they please as if the world is theirs. You can’t blame them though, who else would want the scraps?
This week we had an opportunity to go to Balboa Park and search for different items on a scavenger hunt. We then were about to connect it to our current project that was launched a few days ago. Some patterns and connections I noticed during the scavenger hunt is a common history between different races, where they adapted or brought something to the table of America. I also saw that many of the things we had to find have some type of influence on art or history the way we see it today. I also realized that there were patterns in mediums such as painting or sculpting, even throughout different cultures. The artifact that interested me the most was the architecture of the buildings. It was absolutely amazing to see how dynamic and intricate every bit of the structure was. I also was very drawn into the paintings because of the colors and designs in each piece. It was breathtaking to see just how detailed every one was. I wonder what the story is behind these paintings, and what influence led to the architecture as it is. The scavenger hunt confirmed and widened my view of the claim I had made earlier about the project. I claimed that the project is about different perspectives - historically speaking - and how America was affected and influenced by Spanish and Latin culture. The scavenger hunt showed just how many cultures and groups of people contributed to what shapes America today. It showed the evolution of immigrants and different countries' histories, and how powerful their influence was on America. I can now add further evidence about the Spanish influence, the sculptures depicting a past, and the dark and twisted past of America as well as other countries. I feel like I only began to question more, about the history of different objects and their owners or creators. In a lot of areas, it was presented in a homely or easy manner, right in front of your face and rarely in cases or tucked away behind red ropes. It was amazing to see some scenes set up for interactions, such as the chest with costumes in it, ready to play dress-up with. There were some sections where there were glass cases since the items were delicate, but it was still in good lighting, good condition, and with information and artifacts surrounding it. Many of the sculptures were unguarded, easy to touch and get close to. Everything was very open and trusted to the public in a way. We watched a puppet show called Peter and The Wolf, and it's everything I didn't expect. Instead of a regular hand puppet or Marionette, the one actor in the whole show played with everyday items to create a story, and would be anything from the landscape of green hills and blue ponds, to the main character or bird made of pheasant feather which he got himself. I appreciated the innovation and creativity shown in the show, and how he was interactive with the little kid in the crowd. It's odd to think I might have watched that show seven years ago when my mom would bring me to that same puppet show. My first impressions of 11th grade are that it's an exciting step up, and a great push in the right direction. I've enjoyed what we've been working on in general so far, and I'm excited to get started on the first project and to work on my Honors project. I'm looking forward to more independent work. I'm nervous about internship and tests because both of those are high stress situations for me, but I've been through enough to know that I can get through this too.
I'm loving this school year so far in Humanities. Although it's only been one week, I feel extremely comfortable in the classroom and am engaged in what we're learning. It feels like the class is laid back and relaxed, even when we're learning a lot or taking notes on a lecture. I feel that the discussions and activities we've done have been really beneficial and everyone seems pretty intrigued by it. I feel that the reading could be less of an author more or less whining and disproving something, and more primary source accounts. I would also love to get into the American Colonies book. I feel I learn best with a mixture of notes and discussion. I enjoy lectures, but I know it can get boring for me if every class is simply learning through slides. I would love hands on activities and things that take real effort to complete. I feel my strengths are note taking, leadership and creativity. I hope to improve on patience, essay writing, and listening to others. |
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November 2018
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